Love, YOU!

So I spent years hung up on the fact that I went on very few dates and was always wondering what was wrong with me that guys didn't want to date me. 

 I seriously even made a pact with my roommate that we would be old crocheting- yarn buddies if we never married, JUST as a backup plan.  Because you never know when those will come in handy. 

Then I met someone who, like all those cheesy quotes, made me realize why it never worked out with anyone else. 

Only for him to leave on a 2 year mission- of which our only correspondence is that of emailing.

Don't get me wrong, I am completely 100% supportive, and he will come back a better person for it. I am truly happy that he is willing to sacrifice his life and even his fear of leaving his girlfriend (me) to serve others and do the work of the Lord. He has incredible strength and courage. 

The only thing is that I promised him ( and my mother) that I would date other people while he was gone. He felt it wasn't fair to ask me to wait for him. Which says a lot about how much he cares about me.

Only once he left I went back into that sad lonely state, but this time I missed him like crazy. My heart ached every time I even looked at a photo of him.

We email each week and one week he didn't have time to write to me and I was really upset.

So naturally, I decided to work on myself. If my happiness was decided by one email a week- that was just plain sad.

So I decided to empower myself. I took up a painting class, and booked up my week wih social and uplifting things. 

And I've been so happy. And I have only gone on one date! I'm not lonely because I am trying to bring myself closer to God, just as my guy is! 

In the past I never understood it when people said they didn't need a man in their life to be happy. Only the more confusing when they said so while holding said mans hand. 

But lately I have just been flying!  I am doing awesome and I am happy- and there is no man (physically) in my life! I finally empowered myself and got to the point where I DONT need a guy in my life to be happy! Even though I am writing one on a mission (have to keep that cliched trend going)! 

So if anyone is like me and had some self esteem issues that were only hardened by loneliness, please, please  put your heart in the hands of God. He will place it in the hands of someone who deserves it! You are so incredible and wonderful! Look towards God and try to love yourself. How can you expect anyone to love you if you don't love yourself? We are our own worst enemies. Love yourself and that is when you will find someone! 

And hey if you don't, everyone has that best friend that is willing to make a pact to be your old cat, lizard, yarn, or dog lady with you. 

That is true friendship right there! Keep them! 

Love you all!