Or how about when you walk through an invisible spider web and start swatting at the air wildly, instantly becoming a ninja for 5 seconds... Meanwhile people cross he street to avoid you?
Well I have, and I may have fears of planes crashing in the ocean( because I hate sharks and potentially drowning), but I have this ridiculous and irrational fear of small crawly things with between 6-8 legs , that are thousands of times smaller than me.
The first time I ever saw a cockroach was when I was in Japan living with a host family for two weeks. My host mom slowly rolled up the paper and casually walked into the living room, then in this ferocious voiced yelled "HIIIIIIYA!!!" And brought the newspaper down like an executioners axe upon the cockroach- that I didn't know was there until I saw it bounce up from the impact and scurry off. At which point I flew to the other side of the house while she started banging around with the newspaper after it.
Supposedly that was the first bug they've seen in their house in 12 years. Architects of the world, please learn from Japan's immaculately built houses, proven to be big free for 12 years in some houses!
But moving on...
Well the other day I was sitting on the couch, watching Netflix and enjoying my supper when I turn my head slowly ( I don't know what prompted this) and there was a spider sitting on the back of the couch... Right. Next. To. My. Head.
To my credit I didn't scream OR jump off the couch! I calmly stood up and grabbed the fly swatter ( but is actually our spider-swatter as my roomie and I live in a basement suite.) and brought a swift and sudden death upon the offending arachnid.
I almost pressed my cheek on the wall right onto a spider once. I was trying to look behind something then looked over and the spider was right in front of my nose.
That time, admittedly, I did scream. My roommate came running as I stumbled out of the room gasping for breath and stuttering as though I had just been scarred for life. It WAS pretty funny... But not before I was able to form coherent words and sentences again.
But this mornings, THIS MORNING, after I had rolled into my knees to say my prayers, walked across the room without glasses on, had my shower came back got dressed and was sitting on my bed again... That's when I noticed movement... Multiple movement on the floor! There was an army of ants crawling across my room right where I had been kneeling and walking around in bare feet! Ants in the middle of winter!!
All because of one random cinnamon heart that had fallen by the way side! This is just another reason for me to dislike Valentine's Day. I thought this year would be different.
So in a mad panic I grabbed my ammo of wads of Kleenex in both hands and killed by my count at least 11 ants!
So what do I do? I go and Google ants at work. Wanting to make sure they weren't carpenter ants, which they weren't, but they are just black ants "the most common type of ant to infest houses and they can live in the walls or under the carpets."
If my work computer was a laptop... I would have slammed it shut and said "No... Just, no!" But I did stop googling after that and emailed my landlord.
At first I was alarmed because it is the middle of winter in southern Alberta, then I remembered that Monday was a high of 19 degrees Celsius... The poor bugs' tiny little minds are probably confused. Which really didn't prevent me from heartlessly crushing them at all...
Then my landlord agreed that the bugs are confused ( I was worried that middle of winter non hibernating ants meant an infestation in the walls.) as the other day two bees flew into his house.
BUGS! It's not spring yet! Leave us alone! The only thing I like about winter is the lack of bugs!
And even then there is always an increase of spiders in houses in the winter!!
Ant traps will take care of that. I could utilize the spiders but I really don't want to risk feeding them so they get bigger...
I'm not a girly girl ( maybe a little...) but I kill my own bugs, and they are the only things in the world that are able to release that high pitchced squeal of terror in me.
*Shudder*
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